Is it possible that relaxation has changed? I've always thought that relaxation was an entirely subjective thing, as unique as the individual seeking an escape from, well, anything from which one would want to escape.
For me, traditional methods and modes of relaxation produce far more anxiety than they alleviate.
Really.
The idea of sitting by a lake on a wooden chair, staring at the still water makes me itchy. I will admit that I'd probably like it for between 90 and 120 seconds, then it would quickly become an irritant. Ditto to a quiet walk on a country road, an isolated off-the-grid cabin and fishing. I like fishing. At Barney Greengrass. For the sturgeon. And a dark-toasted dry poppy seed bagel.
In fact, as I look through websites listing all of the traditional methods of relaxation, very few seem that they might be borderline effective for me, the vast majority are cringe-worthy (and, yeah, all of the above are on these lists).
What works for me is a definitional opposite of dramatic irony: cities. This is something that no larger audience has ever appreciated; only I as the central character get it.
There must be a theory somewhere, though I can't find one, that speaks to the idea that the more external energy tat I am able to absorb will impact upon me in an inverse way. So, rather than deflecting the stressors of a city, or internalizing them in a stress-ful or stress-inducing way, I take that energy in as a fuel that calms me.
It's abstract, I know, and I wish I could explain it more scientifically or clearly or accessibly, but I can't. What I can do is say that in the same way as the earlier sitting by the lake scene might invoke feelings of calm in you and the idea of being in a taxi in Delhi during the morning rush might invoke feeling of great stress or even panic in you, it's pretty much the total opposite for me. There are exceptions - I'll freely admit to absolutely loving Bali, Indonesia and Da Nang, Vietnam. But the key is that I do so in very small doses, where I can thrive in cities for really extended periods of time.
Cities energize and relax me at the same time. There's something about the immediacy of anonymity in a vibrant city that really draws me in. I can be who I want to be by the way I dress, act, carry myself. I can draw attention or vanish. I can live like a native or a tourist and I can change that up in a minute.
So, in ascending order, here are the cities in the world that both energize and really profoundly relax me the most:
5. Mexico City: This city would have been higher on the list five years ago. I speak Spanish and learned to do so in Mexico City, so it's easy for me to fall into the pattern of daily life, aside from really late meals. It's simply not anywhere near as safe as it was five years ago. My comfort zone for walking, which used to be a pretty big triangle is now a small rectangle. It's a shame, as the culture and people and colours and feel is just so fantastic.
4. Kuala Lumpur: It's a really intense city and with three cultures literally slamming into each other in every inch of this amazing place, it's constant action. It's a place where I'm always off my bearings, which is good. Amazing food culture.
3. Ho Chi Minh City: One of the best cities to conquer on foot, if you're not afraid of noise, exhaust and motor-scooter-thingies. It's almost impossible to take a bad photo in HCMC, a city that truly never stops rotating on this real and profound axis. I've been there a dozen times, always hate to leave, always feel that the stay, no matter how many days, was far too short.
2. Stockholm: In my mind, Stockholm is the paradise of cities. For me, it's small, and slow and just wonderful in every way. As I've mentioned in other pieces, it's home in so many ways. I've extolled its virtues all over this great Internet - not hard to find how I feel about Stockholm.
1. New York: Yeah, I like to wake up in the city that never sleeps. It is a crush of humanity, of passion, of power, of history, of real-ity and real-ness. It is Fitzgerald. It is The Ramones. It is New York.
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